Introducing the Alarm Grid SiXTH SensorPosted By Michael Goris
Hi DIYers! We have spooky good news for everyone today. We are proud to announce the unveiling of the brand-new Alarm Grid SiXTH Sensor. This is the world's first ever security system sensor that activates upon detecting any paranormal or spiritual activity. It is a must-have for all users!
As you may know, there are the five "standard" senses that we use on a daily basis. These are of course sight, smell, taste, hearing and touch. But what you might not know is that there is paranormal activity lurking among us. You cannot detect such occurrences through normal means. You need a "sixth" sense to detect any paranormal, spiritual or otherworldly activity that may be cursing you and the people in your presence. That is why we created the all-new SiXTH Sensor.
We took inspiration from Honeywell's SiX Sensor Lineup in creating the Alarm Grid SiXTH Sensor. Just like the existing SiX Sensors, the SiXTH Sensor offers 128-bit AES encryption to thwart any real-life hacking attempts. We also added Advanced Spirit Stopping encryption to stop any hacking attempts initiated from the otherworld. You can count on the SiXTH Sensor to function perfectly both in our present world and the dimensions beyond our normal reach. Please be aware that you can only see the Advanced Spirit Stopping encryption through the use of various psychonautic substances that are neither sold nor endorsed by Alarm Grid. But trust us - it's there!
Now, you might be wondering how exactly the SiXTH Sensor works. Well we are happy to explain! The sensor pairs with a wireless zone on your alarm panel much like any "present world" sensor. But you will notice a few things new. You will set the Device Type as "Paranormal Detector". The Response Type should be set to "Bruce Willis". This is a brand-new Response Type designed exclusively for use with our SiXTH Sensor. You will only get this option upon setting the Device Type, so make sure to set the options accordingly. After you save your changes, your SiXTH Sensor will be ready to go!
If your SiXTH Sensor detects any paranormal or spiritual activity that should not be present in our present world, a silent spiritual alarm will be sent to your system. Within moments, the central station will get to work sending out a response. But you can't stop spirits, ghouls and curses with police officers, firefighters or emergency medical personnel. Oh no, you need something better. Instead, you can expect Bruce Willis (not that Bruce Willis) to show up at your home or business to rid the area of any paranormal activity.
Bruce Willis (not that Bruce Willis) will come equipped with sage and various incantations to cleanse the premises and protect the spirituality of yourself and those around you. While Bruce Willis (not that Bruce Willis) might appear to be in an uncomfortable or unusual state as he performs the necessary exorcism, we can assure you that this is perfectly normal. Additionally, you can expect a call from the central station to make sure that Bruce Willis (not that Bruce Willis) arrived safely and without real-life incident. Please note that Bruce Willis (not that Bruce Willis) does not come with cab fare, and you may be responsible for ensuring his departure. Alarm Grid cannot assist with this issue, and it is up to you to make the appropriate arrangements.
Alarm Grid has already tested the SiXTH Sensor with the Honeywell Lyric Controller with great success! We easily enrolled the device to the system, and we intentionally released a safe, but other-dimensional, spirit into our headquarters. We made sure to do this at night to protect the majority of our technicians and staff members. One brave soul working the late shift was around to see the SiXTH Sensor in action. Needless to say, our expectations were more than met.
The Alarm Grid SiXTH Sensor will be coming soon, sometime within your existence. We will make sure to keep you posted about any news related to the SiXTH Sensor as it becomes available. Thanks for being an Alarm Grid customer, and we hope that you have a happy April!